So, I really do some stupid thing from time to time... As for example going for a walk in the middle of the night without my keys. Now this is normally not a problem, since we do have an extra key hidden in the garden. BUT! They extra key has disappeared >.< Which means I was locked out of an empty house in the middle of the night. Luckily my neighbors was not yet asleep, do they'd let me in, and let me stay for the night. The next morning Frede, a 65 year old man, climbed up a latter, and 'broke' into the house. They're just great those people.
So but my mother, her husband and my sister is not home this weekend, which means I'm alone. - Which is great for a change. I've mostly been watching tv, skyping with my friend Amanda, and surfing a bit on the internet. Nothing much have happened.
Tomorrow another friends, Leaz, is probably going to come over. I miss her. I haven't seen her for quite a while.
Todays song is Kringsat av fiender by the old norwegian poet Nordahl Grieg.
Over and out
- Brian
11/19/2011
11/15/2011
The flu...
Yup, that's right I've got the flu... For the second time in my entire life, tops. xD I get a lot of colds, but it's very rare it's anything worse than that.
So today at work I've mostly felt like a bunch of dying crap. And right now I'm sitting in the living room, with a blanket, my cat and fire!! (In the fireplace) And of course a large cup of appletea :D
Otherwise nothing much is actually going on... I've talked to Patrick, and it seems like we've sorted things out, luckily.
Oh yeah, and I've found two genius games (I LOST THE GAME) recently. It's Monst http://www.begamer.com/flash-game/23460/monst) and Pursuit of a Hat http://www.notdoppler.com/pursuitofhat.php) Especially Pursuit of a Hat is great game. You play as this small creature and your job is to get back to your beloved hat. In order to do that, you have to rip off your own limbs. Fortunately you can put them back on, no harm done. I LOVE IT!!!! xD
Do go and play it. Otherwise I'll be standing outside your bedroom window with a bat tonight. Trust me. I'll be there! So why not save me for the trouble, and you for the pain, and just go and play it? xD
(Don't worry I'm just kidding xD) But seriously, play it.
Over and out
- Brian :D
So today at work I've mostly felt like a bunch of dying crap. And right now I'm sitting in the living room, with a blanket, my cat and fire!! (In the fireplace) And of course a large cup of appletea :D
Otherwise nothing much is actually going on... I've talked to Patrick, and it seems like we've sorted things out, luckily.
Oh yeah, and I've found two genius games (I LOST THE GAME) recently. It's Monst http://www.begamer.com/flash-game/23460/monst) and Pursuit of a Hat http://www.notdoppler.com/pursuitofhat.php) Especially Pursuit of a Hat is great game. You play as this small creature and your job is to get back to your beloved hat. In order to do that, you have to rip off your own limbs. Fortunately you can put them back on, no harm done. I LOVE IT!!!! xD
Do go and play it. Otherwise I'll be standing outside your bedroom window with a bat tonight. Trust me. I'll be there! So why not save me for the trouble, and you for the pain, and just go and play it? xD
(Don't worry I'm just kidding xD) But seriously, play it.
Over and out
- Brian :D
11/09/2011
Selfharm
Selfharm is a bad thing. Selfharm is many things. It could be cutting, or hitting oneself. It could be throwing up on purpose. It could be not allowing oneself to feel happy, to feel like one had to be punished everytime something good happened. Or it could be not allowing oneself to feel pretty, or loved, or worth anything.
I have done all of these things. I've got scars from razorblades and blue marks from a belt. I've put two fingers down my throat a bit too often, just to try to get all the evil out of me. Though it always seems to find it's way back inside. And I've always tried to hide all of it. All of this is signals to tell the world that I'm not fucking okay, even if I smile. 'Cause I'm crying myself to sleep more then once a week. I hurt myself. Badly. I'm ashamed of what who I am, and feel sorry for what I do.
Remember what I wrote about the swan and the ugly duckling? Well, I'm not ready to let myself be that swan yet. Far from. Which means that I feel like something much different than what people might see. I still feel like that somewhat chubby girl with glasses and braces I once was. That girl who actually don't have anyone that would listen if she had something to say. I don't feel like the girl I'm being told I am. Therefore I find it very frustrating when people I see as my dear friends suddenly wants to be more than that. Like this boy, Patrick. I love him as my friend, he's funny and quite good at listing, if I actually wants to talk. Unfortunately he's about to ruin our friendship. He just won't understand it when I tell him that there should not be anything more between us. He's trying so hard to get me, that he's pushing me away. I don't know how to tell him to back off, but I know that I better hurry up figure it out. Otherwise I'll have to just cut all contact to him. Which would be very awkward and almost impossible since we have a lot of common friends. It's very complicated... Though I hope I'll find a way to tell him ^^
(This is why I love having my own blog. When I started this post I had tears running down my face, and was ready to go and hurt myself. I am not anymore. It really helps getting everything off my mind. It's as good as talking to a friend, except this is easier; I don't have to feel like a burden for my friends, because I wants to talk.)
Todays song is My Jolly Sailor Bold by Gemma Ward (The mermaid song from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides)
Over and out for now
- Brian
I have done all of these things. I've got scars from razorblades and blue marks from a belt. I've put two fingers down my throat a bit too often, just to try to get all the evil out of me. Though it always seems to find it's way back inside. And I've always tried to hide all of it. All of this is signals to tell the world that I'm not fucking okay, even if I smile. 'Cause I'm crying myself to sleep more then once a week. I hurt myself. Badly. I'm ashamed of what who I am, and feel sorry for what I do.
Remember what I wrote about the swan and the ugly duckling? Well, I'm not ready to let myself be that swan yet. Far from. Which means that I feel like something much different than what people might see. I still feel like that somewhat chubby girl with glasses and braces I once was. That girl who actually don't have anyone that would listen if she had something to say. I don't feel like the girl I'm being told I am. Therefore I find it very frustrating when people I see as my dear friends suddenly wants to be more than that. Like this boy, Patrick. I love him as my friend, he's funny and quite good at listing, if I actually wants to talk. Unfortunately he's about to ruin our friendship. He just won't understand it when I tell him that there should not be anything more between us. He's trying so hard to get me, that he's pushing me away. I don't know how to tell him to back off, but I know that I better hurry up figure it out. Otherwise I'll have to just cut all contact to him. Which would be very awkward and almost impossible since we have a lot of common friends. It's very complicated... Though I hope I'll find a way to tell him ^^
(This is why I love having my own blog. When I started this post I had tears running down my face, and was ready to go and hurt myself. I am not anymore. It really helps getting everything off my mind. It's as good as talking to a friend, except this is easier; I don't have to feel like a burden for my friends, because I wants to talk.)
Todays song is My Jolly Sailor Bold by Gemma Ward (The mermaid song from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides)
Over and out for now
- Brian
Abonner på:
Opslag (Atom)