...

Wau.. I mean just... Wau.
I am furious! I feel so, so betrayed!
My sister is a theif. Don't know if I've mentioned it before, but she is. She steals clothes from us. My mother and I. It's unbelievable! I really hate to say this, but I don't think I can trust her at all anymore. And it kills me! Because I love her so very much, and I want to trust her! But I can't.
Sometimes I really want to hit her. Just beat her up so badly not even our mother would be able to recognize her. Really just watch her bleed. I feel like a terrible person just for thinking this, but it is a part of the anger, the rage, she awakens in me. And at the same time I just feel heartbroken! What on Earth was she thinking, betraying my trust like that?! She might as well spit me in the face.
Now, this is far from the first time she have done something like this (Otherwise I might be overreacting a tad). She has done this several times before, walking into my room when I'm not there, taking my stuff and calling it hers. I hate it. It makes me feel so small, so helpless. She has been told that it's wrong, and not allowed several times before, but that doesn't stop her. What if she continues this behavior when she's all grown up? What if she continues out of the house? She might go to jail then. I would hate to watch my babysister go to prison. But that might be a reality in just a couple of years. If she keeps this up. It's awful.

Todays song is Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin.
And the number is 13.

Ovre and out
- Brian

Random crazy-thinking

You all know those adds on the web, where you can sorta order a russian or muslim or whatever wife, right? Wouldn't it just be cool if they where made with husbands too? So instead of buying a neat little wife, with giant tits, you could purchase a handsome young man with strong abs, a pretty smile and an adorable face... I would rather like that... My order-husband should have red hair... I think I kinda have a thing for red hair... It's so absolutely beautiful... I would like my future kids to have red hair... I think I would rather like such a order-husband-website. Or actually I would not. I would hate it. As much as I like to look at pretty people the looks couldn't be less important when I look for a boy-/girlfriend. It is all about the person behind the masks. Some people don't believe me when I say that. I don't care. I know it's true. Being pan-sexual kinda does that to you... XD
Right now ma kitteh is walking all over my lap. She is sorta an attention-whore xD My right leg is sleeping, and she has just decided to go to sleep right there. And since she is the queen of this family there is nothing I can do about it... I really reeeeeeeaaally love her. When at some point I get tired of rats I think I would like to buy my own lil kitteh when I've moved out.
Henrik and my mother are talking about moving to Silkeborg sometime this winter. My mother already works there, and my sister might be starting in a school there. And Henrik might just get a job there as well. So they'll move to Silkeborg and I'll move to Herning. it's kinda a strange thought.
I might get a job in Copenhagen for the summer! Yay! :D
Then I'll be staying at ma grandma and grandpa's. They live in a small apartment in inner Copenhagen, but they said that if I could get a job there, I could come live with them. They're great. My family is great! :D Very crazy, but absolutely amazing!

Boys however are very complicated. Some of my old friends are starting to treat me as if I reeeeaaally wanted to be their girlfriend, and they're just thinking about letting me. Which is SO not the case! I have not been speaking to these boys for years and have no wish what so ever to be the girlfriend of ANY of them! UGH!
But I might be having a little crush on two different guys  :3 Who they are will be my little secret for now xD
But it's kinda nice to have a crush like that. It's probably not something I will react on, it's just nice to get this ticklish feeling whenever I look at them :3
I actually really wouldn't like to have boyfriend right now. (Or a girlfriend for that matter) I feel like I'm good as it is, and that's fine. However I wouldn't mind to have a cuddle-buddy at night ;P
Oh well, I think that's about enough gut-spilling for one night.

Todays song is Ballad of Serenity by Sonny Rhodes. Because I've been rewatching some o' ma favorite episodes of Firefly <3 LOOOOOOOVEEEEE!!!! :D
The number of the day is 383. Because that's just how it is. Deal with it. xD

Weeelll, Gnight folks :D
- Brian

Ma kitteh :3

Most nights, when I lay in bed and am just about to fall asleep I remember there is this one thing that I should write about; Calmness. I have a very small, rather old cat, and every night she sleeps in my bed, since I am the only one in the family who don't mind petting her when I am about to sleep. I don't mind because I can't think any more relaxing way to fall asleep, than to the sound of a purring cat. She comforts me when the night is too cold, or too dark.
You know how a nice cup of tea, or a warm bath right before you go to bed, is just amazingly relaxing, right? It  can simply just take away the stress of a whole day. Falling asleep to this sound tops that. By  10 times. At the very least.
I'm not really going to tell you anything else today, than the fact that I love my little cat. She quite small, just like me xD - She looks like a big kitten, even though she is thirteen years old now.
Apropos getting old. My grand-grandfather is getting very old. He suffers from dementia, and it is getting pretty bad. Last week he even emptied his bank account, because he forgot that he already had withdrawn the money he needed. I feel horrible for even thinking this, but I think it would be for the best if only he could go to sleep and not wake up again, very soon. It's not that I don't love him, 'cause I do. It's just so very hard to watch as he fades to nothing but a shadow of his former self. Accusing almost everyone of stealing from him. Yes, it would be for the best, if only he could have peace now. He have lived a long and rich life, but his end is nearing, and he is getting miserable. He'll probably be put in a nursing home soon. The one place he always said he'd never want to go.
I'm just stopping this now, before it gets too sad. Old people and cats, that's what you get to night XD

Today's song is Evil Angel by Breaking Benjamin. Just because.
And the number of the day is 209. No idea why. :)

Over and out
- Brian

What a lovely day

Today has been quite a great day. It started with an exam in math (which is not the best, but still) and then a bit of chilling with some really random people. (Awesome :D) And the weather was simply just outstanding! I don't think I used enough sunscreen, though. My cheeks are a bit sore. Damn... I must be more careful. Don't wanna end up like last year. It's such a drag when you can't walk 10 meters. I think I'm just going to apply the sunscreen more often. I can't leave it at home anymore xD
I feel like I might be overdoing it a little, but then again, I might be a little scared of the sun now. I love it, but I am quite afraid of getting burned like that again. It's not really that much fun. Tomorrow's gonna be pretty sunny to, so I guess I'll be bringing my sunscreen to school.. It's getting late now. Gotta get some sleep. Looks like todays post is just gonna be a short one.

Todays song is Somebody that I used to know by Gotye. It's been on reverse in my head all day.
The number of the is 12. Just because. No real reason. That's just how it is. :)

Over and out
- Brian

Ponytails, sunscreen and lemon-bracelets

So, today I've had my first ponytail in just about a year. Finally my hair is getting longer again! :D But really, I quite like to be able to put my hair up like that again. One can play a bit more with a couple of different looks, when ones hair can be put in a ponytail or alike.
Aand I've just bought the first bottle of sunscreen this year! :D Today is quite sunny, and I love it, I just can't be outside of the house without sunscreen. Or I will burn. Like a vampire. So, one bottle of sunscreen spf 50? Check! I am soooo ready for summer! I love summer! I've always liked the clothes you can wear at summer way better than winterclothes. It's just... So... Lovely! I love it.
I alos bought some rubber bracelets today. They smell like lemon. It's awesome XD
They're meant to keep mosquitoes away, but I'm not sure if it really works. I just thought they were pretty. And they smell nice. xD
I've been listening quite a lot the song Scars by Papa Roach, and there's one special phrase that I cling to;
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real...

I think this fits quite well to how I am, and how I felt not so long ago. I care a very fucking lot. About everyone. Not only the ones close to me. Everyone. Sometimes I'm so busy caring about others that I forget to care about myself. And I am scared. Oh my, I am scared. I have plenty of scars to remind me just how real my unpleasant past have been. But I need to remember is that it was just as cheerful and happy as it was awful and tragic. It was a little bit of both worlds. Which I actually thinks is quite healthy.

Todays song is Do you know what I am Seeing? by Panic! at the Disco. 

And the number of the day most be 0. Because it looks like the shape of the sun. And it's beena sunny day... Whatever xD

Over and out

- Brian

Random derping on your screen.

You know that cookbook I talked about last time? The veggie one? I absolutely love it. I mean, it's not the most easy recipes, but they are so very delicious. Sure it's challenging to get those dishes right, but when one get to taste the reward of all that effort... I simply do not have the words to describe it. I mean, when I get it right, it tastes like something from a fancy restaurant, but it isn't! I've been struggling in the kitchen to make it just perfect. And I must say, the satisfaction is great.
School is boring. Like not just boring, as it was in high school, but really boring. We've just had presentations of some of our work in both English and Danish. In English I got a straight A. Not that I did anything, at all, to earn it. I didn't prepare anything, I didn't practice. I just went up there and talked. Apparently that was enough. In Danish we had to work in groups, so I kinda had to prepare a little more than for English. Still, we got a B. And we didn't really do much. Hadn't prepared anything very well. Just threw a couple of pictures in a powerpoint and started talking. That's it.
Actually I find it slightly annoying, that it is so boring. I would really love to be challenged a bit more by the teachers. But they do, of course, have to take of the 'more challenged' part of the class. Or the less smart. I sound like a geek that's in love with myself, don't I? xD
Apropos love... I don't know what's about it. Maybe I have commitment issues? Maybe I feel caged? Caught on far to little space like a lion in zoo? Or maybe I just simply get bored of being with one person all the time? I don't know, I really don't know. I wish I did, tho. I wish I could say "I don't want a relationship because...."
But I can't I have to stop the sentence at "I don't want a relationship." I actually like being single.  It's not like I'm not afraid of hurting someone when I'm single. Just less, than when I have a boy- or girlfriend. When single I don't have to constantly think about what someone else would think if I kiss this person. What if I kiss this person, will that count as cheating? I like kissing. I just do, I can't help it. Especially when I get drunk. When I get drunk I kinda lose control. Becomes quite a slut, according to my friends. Maybe that's just that I am; A slut. But at least I'm an awesome one. At least that's what I think. Whatever.
I'm tired. It's getting late. I'm hyper. I really shouldn't drink soda just before bedtime. Especially not Mt. Dew. I miss someone to write to in the middle of the night. Someone who'll stay up with me, even though  we both have to go to school the next day. Someone to text untill one of us falls asleep. I like that. I guess I feel safe when I know someone's willing to just talk to me 'till (s)he falls asleep. Or 'till I do. I don't know. I should go get some rest. Gotta work tomorrow at 9 am. It's close to 11 pm right now. Luckily I don't have to think all to much at work xD
Todays song is Pretty Odd by Panic! At the Disco. Because it's been stuck in my head since yesterday. And now Zombie by Cranberries just got stuck in there too. Good luck falling asleep .-.
Aand the number of the day is 285. Because it's just been everywhere today.

Over and out. And sleep tight
 - Brian

Uh! That's yummy!

Soo.. Long time no see? Sorry 'bout that.
But! Today I bought this new cookbook. (Yay, new stuff! :D) And it is amaziiiing! The english version is called Veggie food, and it is (surprise, surprise) a vegetarian book. I must say I simply love it!
Today I made this truly delicious rice otto with green asparagus and pistachionuts. Yum!
So but a very fucking lot of stuff have been happening lately. I've started in school, which is great. I am the absolutely youngest in my class, but I don't care. 'Cause I'm one of the smartest students as well. Actually it's rather boring. I know most of what we are taught. And that little which I don't already know, I learn rather quickly.
I still have a job! (Yay me!) There've been some times where I've been afraid that I'd loose it, but I haven't yet.
So I've gotten myself a girlfriend. And I love her. She's just so sweet. We've been together for a litlle more than a month now. And I'm going to break up with her. 'Cause I'm a jerk. A busy jerk. Who just can't manage to be in school, and to work while being in a relationship. I suck.

Actually, no I don't. I'm okay. But Elizabeth isn't. She's having a hard time. She really needs some professional help, but she doesn't want it. She depends a lot on me to comfort her, and take care of her problems. I can't do that. And then it's okay to say no. Say ask her to stop. So now It's stopped. Yeah that's right, I actually broke up with her before I finished this. I feel like such a douche.

Todays song is Stupid Girls by Pink.
And the number of the day is 8. Because today have been a good day, even though I just dumped my girlfriend.

Over and out
- Brian