What a weekend >.>

Hi ^^

So right now I'm filled with mixed feelings. A fucking lot of things have happened during this weekend (Including yesterday and today). For an instant one of my exes have appearently  just broken up with his girlfriend, and now he expects me to take him back and be grateful to him. GRATEFUL! I was the one who dumped that sorry-ass bastard in the first place and I am NOT going to take him back ever again. He was a mistake that I am not going to repeat. He says that he has changed, and that it'll not be the same. But as far as I am concerned he can take those changes and shove them up his ass. I don't care about them, and I don't want them in my life. Now, this may sound like I really don't like him, but that's actually not it. Yeah he was prick while we were together, but before that we had a very damn good friendship. And I miss that friendship. But I know I can't get it back, and I don't want to pretend. I'm done pretending outside the stage. (As an actress)
Another thing is that there is this girl. And she is simply amazing. We've been keeping eachother from 'drowing' in the black sea of depression for quite some time now. Sometimes she calls me in the middle of the night, crying and telling me that she don't want to do 'this' (this being living and lying) anymore. And then I'll talk to her. Most of the time what I say doesn't even make any sense at all. But that doesn't matter. Because the thing is, when someone is willing to stay up for the whole night just to talk to you, you know they care. And sometimes that's enough to bring just a little light into your life. Maybe not much, but just enough to let you get through the darkness :3
But that is actually not what I wanted to say about her xD
W've been fooling around a bit, and now things are getting quite serious. And this is confusing. On one side she is the over all best friend I have, and I would fucking beat up anyone who hurt her, if she asked me to. On another side she is kinda like a sister to me. She has always been the one closest to drowning, and have therefore been more relying on me than I have on her. Sometimes I just want to wrap her in bubbleplast so that nothing in the world could every hurt her again. And then, on the third side. I love her. I simply just love her. I love her with all my heart and soul, and because of that I am afraid that if we get to serious our friendship might shatter. A relationship doesn't work if one is madly in love while the other one might not feel just as much.

And then there is this boy. He's a friend of mine and - unfortunatly - very much in love with me.. I know this because he said so. It's been a few years since the last time I spoke to him but then I met him this weekend. I feel so sorry for him. I do not want to hurt him - he's been hurt more than enough already - but I don't see any other other way out of it. He's practically been texting me every ten minutes or so. I'd be okay with being his friend. But if cannot understand that, I'd have to cut him out. This would not be very hard on me, since I've not been speaking with him for 2 and half year. And I didn't really miss him. Yes I helped him, back when we was in the same class, and yes I was his friend. But this was because he was so alone. And I had been so alone. I got bullied for being nice to him. And I don't miss being bullied.

Todays song is Angel in my pocket - I don't know who made it (Not because I like it, but because it's constantly being played at my work).
And todays number is 28008. Because I've been bored today, and if you write it in digital numbers and turn it upside down it spells "BOOBS" XD

Over and out
- Brian