Who knows?

Some time ago I met girl. This girl soon got to be friend. This friend have meant a lot to me over the years, but I can't keep myself from thinking that I might not have meant as much to her. Now, is could sound like I'm just thinking that I'm not worth anything, or something like that, but that's not it. The thing is, she said something to me quite recently, something that made me think. She has just gotten out of a long relationship, and was very sad at the moment. She was crying, and I was trying to comfort her. And when I told her that I understand what she is going through, she said no. She told me that I didn't understand, I had everything. I had the look, I could get any boy I wanted, and I obviously had no real problems. I must say that I was actually quite choked. How on earth could she say something like that to me? I didn't tell her how wrong she was, because I didn't want to get in some sort of a fight with her, and I know how it might seem like nobody else have ever known your pain, when you've been dumbed by the boy you love.

I soon forgot her words, put them in the very back of my mind. At least until another of my friends asked me a rather odd question. He asked me if I was one of those girls everybody liked. He asked because that was the pictured he had of me. I asked him why he thought that, why he thought I was liked by everyone, because I most certainly did not feel like that. And his answer made me think of my friend who said I didn't understand her. 

He told me that he asked because I was always in a good mood, I was pretty, and I was funny. He said that he really enjoyed talking to me. He said that he couldn't understand why I don't have a boyfriend, because in his world the boys should be standing in line to get a girl like me. And this opened up my eyes. I have never really thought of myself as pretty. I never thought of myself as the kind of girl anyone would like. I have sort of gotten used to being disliked by most of the people around me. I'd start believe the mean words that have been thrown at me over the years. I've often thought of myself as the ugly duckling. But have never thought of the fact, that one day the ugly duckling will become a beautiful swan.  I might not be there entirely yet, but I know that I'm getting there. I know that I one day will be that beautiful swan, whom all the other ducks are looking up to. At least that what I hope. 

But his words also made me think of something else. Do we know what we mean to the people around us? Do we know how we look from their perspective? I now know, that I don't know.